Practicing “I” language



Instructions:  Rewrite each of the evaluative “you” language statements below using descriptive “I” language.


Be sure to:


  1. Describe the other person’s behavior using very specific and objective language.
  2. Share your thoughts and feelings that occur when you experience the behavior.
  3. Be sure to take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings.  (remember, no one makes you feel something, you choose to feel that emotion)
  4. Share the consequences the other person’s behavior has for you


Example:  You language:  “You don’t care about my feelings”

                  I language:  “I felt hurt when I saw you in the restaurant with your old girlfriend when you told me you had to work.” 


  1.  “You never want to hear my side of the story.”


“I” language statement:




  1. “You don’t keep your word.”


“I “ language statement:





  1. “You’re no fun.”


“I” language statement:




  1. “You can’t take a joke.”


“I” language statement:




  1. “Do you ever tell the truth?”


“I” language statement:





  1. “You’re going to ruin my life.”


“I” language statement:




  1. “You’re driving me crazy.”


“I” language statement:




  1. “You have a bad attitude.”


“I” language statement:




  1. “You aren’t there for me.”


“I” language statement